Table of Contents
The
SerpenTimes
Welcome to the 2010 Winter Edition of the SerpenTimes newspaper.
As you can see we have changed our website and layout due to a few glitches and we have also added new staff. There are new sections in our paper like Ask Avery and The Misadventures of HOL skit. We have also included our wonderful editorial, quidditch, and news section, along with our Tastey recipes section. Feel free to turn the pages and look at all the wonderful contributions sent in by HOL students like yourselves.
Thanks to all contributors & Staff! - The Editor Megaera Selwyn
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Columns
AskAvery
By: Kent Avery
Misadventures of HOL
By: Prof. Miette Bynny
Artists to Watch : The Heavy
Music From the <3 : Play for Change
The Dream Oracle
By: Zoki Phantom
Articles
Why Men Love Slytherin WomenBy: Jezebel Rose
Catching up with Meg By: Rorey Padfoot
Dr. Who: Pleasant Show or Addictive Drug By: Ardeliah Longbottom
Concealed Mystery Within Our Walls By: Allie Dawn
A Class Sign-up Guide for the New Year By: Emily Cullen
Looking Back by Looking Forward by Looking Back By: Gabrielle Cadeux
Holidays Around the World By: Hermione Miranda
Reviews
A Hunger Games Review By: Ariel Kingston
Interviews
Introducing Slytherin's new Quidditch Co-Captain!!!
By: Ryan Granger, Ravenclaw guest writer
Meet Slytherin's New Co-HOH
By: Emily Cullen
The 411 on the Man Called Ulol
By: Ariel Kingston
Focus On Food
Tuscan Meatloaf w/ Mushroom Sauce
Pastel de Tres Leches - 3 Milk Cake
Puzzles,poems N' Hahas
The Poetry Club By: Rorey Padfoot
Name That Tune By: Rorey Padfoot
The Hat Puzzle By: Zoki Phantom
Things I'm Not Allowed to do in Hogwarts By: Ryan Granger
The Scrabble Puzzle By: Ryan Granger
Wizard Holiday Poem By: Adam Malfoy
Wizard Holiday Poem 2 By: Adam Malfoy
How Far Away By: Anonymous
Staff Bios
Megaera Selwyn
Faye Roderick
Danielle Mandeville
Prof. Miette Bynny
Kent Avery
Elizabeth Cassidy
Prof. Lorelei Lovegood-Snape
Gabrielle Cadeaux
India Jolly
Ariel Kingston
Emily Cullen
Ask Avery!
Ask Avery...
is a new column headed by our resident guidance counselor. He lends a friendly ear and gives honest and helpful advice to anyone in need. He is a friend to everyone and will never steer you wrong.
This column will be in every SerpenTimes edition from here on out so we can answer all your questions. If he does not respond via the newspaper, he will write you personally and will owl you directly.
Owl me at:
jadenkrichardson_googlemail.com
A Class Sign Up Guide for the New Year
Well, it's here. The new class list which shows all the classes that are available for sign ups next term. Sign ups begin on February 1st for this next term, so you do have time left to decide what you would like to take. I decided to compile a list of things to remember when signing up.
First off, remember that you can only sign up for a maximum of five classes per term and that you need two quills to pass on to the next year. With that in mind, make sure you pick the amount of classes you feel you can handle. You dont want to overload yourself, get frustrated, and then give up on HOL.
When you first sit down to look at the class list, write down the names of the classes that catch your eyes first. I always end up with more than five classes on the list and you likely will too. Once you have your list, look to see if any of them are labeled as Advanced. Advanced classes usually (but not always) have a requirement that you must have taken the initial entry-level course in order to be eligible to take the advanced course. Check to see if the professors have prerequisites listed on the class site and if they do, make sure you meet them. If you dont, cross those off your list or look and see if the entry-level class is being offered as this would be a good place to start.
After the advanced classes are off your list, look through the other classes and spend some time visiting their websites. See if the professor has some sample assignments up to view. You may find out that the class has too much essay writing, or uses puzzles as a means of earning points and you dont like puzzles. Some classes ask for you to create things in Photoshop and you might not know how to yet. It is always good to see if you are capable of doing the work before signing up for the class.
If you still have more than five classes on your list, well, youre going to have to pick and choose. Some students ask the Professors if a class will be offered again during another term, some write down all their possibilities, throw them in a hat and pick from there, and some just chose the classes in alphabetical order. As long as you feel you will enjoy the classes you are taking then there is no right or wrong way.
ad done by Prof. Ulol
The Misadventures of
H.O.L.
Prof. Ulol And Zoki
"Singing in the
City"
Nassa's Rant
"What Not
to Wear"
Misadventures of HOL is a new comedy web skit created by. Prof. Bynny. Follow the adventures at:
Episode 1
Adventures of Zee & Meg.
"The Train"
Episode 2
Adventures of Zee &
Meg
"Tin Woman"
http://www.xtranormal.com/profile/1920093/?listtype=SERIES
Artists to Watch
The Heavy
The Heavy, a UK neo-soul, rock group with a splash of funk from Noid, England, burst onto the scene in 2007 when they released 2 singles from their first LP Great Vengeance and Furious Fire. The group consists of guitarist Dan Taylor and vocalist Kelvin Swaby, drummer Chris Ellul, bassist Spencer Page, and keyboardist Hannah Collins.
In 2008, they played in the SXSW festival and collected the "Best Discovery" award in Spin Magazine's Best and Worst of SXSW. Also, on March 26, 2008, they were labeled Spin's Magazine's Artist of the Day.
They appeared on the 2009 LP, Johnny Cash Remixed, with the remixed version of "Doing My Time". In October 2009, they debuted their second album The House That Dirt Built was released by Ninja Tune.
With a fresh new sound, a lead singer with a soulful voice reminiscent of James Brown and a funky beat this British band is definetly an artist to watch. Listen to their new single "How you like me now" right now!
Visit their Myspace page for more music and updates! http://www.myspace.com/theheavy73
Music from the<3
Playing for Change
Playing for Change is a music project created by Mark Johnson with his Timeless Media Group, that seeks to bring musicians from around the world together to play music. The purpose of this foundation is to inspire, connect, and help bring peace to the world through music.
The video above is part of a 83 minute documentary film called "Peace Through Music", directed by Mark Johnson and Jonathan Walls & was shown at the 2009 SXSW festival.
The idea of this documentary and of this music video was get one person to start the song and as he, Mark, travels the world to each place, the new artist would listen to the previous and then that artist would add their signature to the song. This is symbolic in the means that everyone, no matter how different they are, can find harmony and connection in a song to make the song one.
This video is inspiring & shows that music can change how people see, feel, & hear the world.
If you know a story about music from the <3 or have your own story about how music has changed your life, feel free to email me, dklynds_gmail.com, & your story can be published in the issue of the SerpenTimes. Remember to to include in the subject line: Music from the <3
Spring Fashions
in store!
75% off
Winter
Fashion
By Jezebel Rose
"And the serpent said unto the woman, You shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day you eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be as gods, knowing good and evil."
Ever met a woman who has a certain dark aura to her? A certain je ne sais quoi about her very being? She is the kind of woman you pass in the hallways with haste, not meeting her eyes as you scurry off to class. She is regarded with a sense of curiosity. Her impression lasting long after she has Apparated away. In a matter of moments, she has managed to become the whisper in the back of your mind and the lingering chill once shes left the room. You find yourself hoping to bump into her, but at the same time dreading it. For better, for worse, shes penetrated. So who exactly is this creature? She's cold, she's calculating, she's beautiful - well, you've just found yourself a Slytherin Woman.
Your concentration in Herbology is skewed, lets not even talk about Potions, and at the mention of Dark Arts, its her you see. Why do men love Slytherins? Simple: we are uninhibited and fearless. Like the snakes that represent our House, we are ruthless, we simply do not care about the feelings of wizards whose hearts we break; because at the end of the day? It's all about us. Our independence marks our un-attainability. Where other women are ruled by feelings, we are ruled by ambition. Right-brain oriented prowess; our potions aren't made of love and flowers, they are brewed with the intent to attain three things - Power, Domination and Notoriety.
Regardless of which house the sorting hat placed you in, the Slytherin woman will just see you as a Wizard, nothing more. It is unimportant to her that you managed to make it onto the Quidditch team as a first year, or that you are the top of your class. Her time has to be earned, and generally you will have to suffer for it. What it comes down to is the chase. A Slytherin woman does not chase. She hunts. Her aims are set on her own benefits, not your pleasure. Actually, she would take great pleasure in seeing you squirm for her. Another thing to keep in mind about Slytherin women can be summed up with the following saying: the forbidden fruit is often the sweetest, albeit the deadliest. We are the adrenaline in your veins, or more accurately, the venom. Men loathe routines. A Slytherin may drive her man to the edges of sanity and back, but at the end of the day, he is never bored. He can never seem to read her, because the Slytherin woman knows how to keep her emotions concealed in the depths of her black little heart. Intrigued yet? Of course you are. Which further proves my point, not only do Men love a Slytherin, but they are intrigued by her. They can't hold her down, they can't charm her, and they certainly can't predict her next move. By the time they do, she's already sunk her teeth into their flesh, their days numbered. In love with a Slytherin, are we? My advice? Stay away. Avoid her. Forget her. Ravenclaws are known for their beauty and brains, Hufflepuffs for their generosity, and Gryffindors for their honesty and bravery. All of which would make fine suitors for any Wizard. Heartbreak, evil, and excruciating pain will govern your everyday existence with a Slytherin. Heed my warning, and move on.
I have your attention now don't I? I might as well have said 'come hither.' Which brings me to my last point, why do men love Slytherin? Everyone loves what they can't have. Still interested? Then all I can say for you is this - proceed at your own risk, we bite.
Happy Huntings.
Catching Up with Meg
By: Rorey Padfoot, Hufflepuff contributor
When I read the advertisement on the notice board regarding the SerpenTimes looking for some writers from other houses, I jumped at the opportunity. It took me a few days to figure out what I was going to write about, but then an idea presented itself. I signed up to do an interview with Meg Selwyn who had recently accepted the position of Co-Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team. Meg is also a new Prefect and is wicked fast on the pitch, so in passing I asked quite sloppily if I could interview her for the Times. She agreed, of course, and requested that I contact her with a time and place to meet up for the interview.
I made a note to myself to schedule this as early as possible so I would not run into the end of the term and get bogged down with homework, projects, and exams. I had every intention of meeting up with Meg and Im sure vice versa. The days passed turned into weeks and suddenly I realized that it was the day before the due date for my article. I was in a panic. I needed to find Meg and I needed to find her now, but where to look?
At first, I asked myself where else would I find the Co-Captain of a quidditch team, but on the schools pitch. I walked, well, more like, slowly jogged, down to the pitch and saw some of the Slytherins practicing. Success I thought! Meg must be here! When I attempted to gain the players attention, two larger seventh years inquired what I was doing there. I tried to maintain my composure, and innocently replied that I was just there to try to get an interview with Meg. They had the audacity to think I was trying to spy and take notes for the Hufflepuff team. After several attempts to explain, I realized I was getting nowhere, so I headed back to the castle.
I decided that I would just wait outside of the Dungeons since all Slytherins ended up passing by sooner or later. I was glad I had a few books with me, because it seemed like forever and a day until I started seeing quiddy players coming in from the pitch. Some of them gave me strange looks as they passed and some who know me smiled and waved. I mean really? Was it that odd to see a Hufflepuff waiting outside of the Dungeon's doors to talk to someone? Alas, no Meg.
I ran up to the library thinking that maybe she was working on a project and needed to do some research; but she wasnt there either. I checked the Great Hall; nothing. I checked the garden, not there either. I was even so desperate that I checked with the hospital wing to see if she had been hurt during practice; no such luck. I was beginning to think that not only was Meg the new Co-Captain of the SQT, but she must also be the owner of an invisibility cloak as well.
I suppose its ultimately my fault for not catching up with her sooner and not planning ahead better. At least I can still congratulate her in her new position and wish her well for the rest of the season. Good luck, Meg! I hope you enjoy your newfound glory.
Concealed Mystery Within Our Walls
By: Allie Dawn, Slytherin Contributor
Enchanting, mysterious & filled w/endless possibilities.. this is perhaps the most common and truthful way to describe Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It is not only the first-years that get lost on occasion, stumble upon trouble or make a discovery that twists and evolves their perspective constantly while opening new possibilities and unveiling surprises.
No one knows all the secrets within the stone walls of this magical school, but recent rumours tell of a chamber entirely untouched by house-elves or staff. A room that seems better fitted inside a student's imagination than concealed within the darkest corners of the castle where spiders lurking about is the least concerning issue for daring explorers.
The story of such a chamber has been remembered and then forgotten over the years, brought about by a need to find such a place or discarded when no progress is made in uncovering the truth.
The interiors of the room itself are left untold, either by the fact that no one has truly discovered the location of the chamber or perhaps it is so grant, fulfilling and enlightening that those who have come across it take a vow of silence within themselves.
It was described as a place of solitude yet adventure, a chamber that can hear your secrets as though you are whispering them to the darkened walls; a room where the entire world fades naturally into the distance.
Lingering around the fourth floor, entrapped by the shadows yet invisible when candlelight is cast upon it, this room ages peacefully until its whereabouts are stumbled upon and it opens the grand doors to allow entrance within.
Does it only reveal itself to certain students that it has somehow chosen to be worthy of entrance, in dire need of its solace or perhaps entirely by random? If it seeks out your secrets, then can it also read your mind? Where did such a room originate from by which of the four founders that conjured its existence? Or was it not the founders at all? The chamber may be younger than the castle it dwells within, brought into existence by students or staff. We may never know the answers to these questions, for the chamber of concealment cannot be sought on such intentions and desires.
Many locations and items in the Wizarding world have been known to have life-like properties; the most familiar example of this would be the Sorting hat that determines the house in which a new student is destined to belong. But however old the hat may be, the magic never drains and even though it is tended to with importance and can think up a new song each year, it was still originally an ordinary hat that once sat atop the head of Godric Gryffindor.
Was this mysterious room the same? Was it once a basic room composed of stone until someone came along and brought it to life with magic and company? Such a witch or wizard would need to be powerful and above student standards, surely? There is no certainty as to why the room exists (if it even does), but the anticipation of finding such a chamber has been growing eagerly within our school once again.
Rumors spread, change and expand; is there any truth behind such claims? A room of mythical mystery and certain ability to remain hidden sounds doubtful when compared to stories such as the Room of Requirement one floor above, the unicorns that are said to wander the forbidden forest at particular times of night and day or the debate on how old the Giant Squid in the Black Lake is. However unrealistic or believable these claims my be involving the concealed room on the fourth floor currently still remains undetermined, unexplored and still without answered even following all these years. When this all first started, who by and for what reason still remains just as the room itself does: a complete mystery. Every theory, claim, anticipation and wonder comes right down to a single, most wholesome question: What do you believe?
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Looking Back by Looking Forward
by Looking Back
By:Gabrielle Cadeaux , Slytherin Contributor
So, a lot of things have happened this past year. Just to name a few: Barack Obama became president, the stock market crashed, 'Avatar' directed by
James Cameron came out (w00t!), Michael Jackson died, the Droid by Motorola was released, and my half-birthday passed (>.>).
But enough about the Muggles and the mundane! Let's get on to the juicier, 'magical' stuff. In one of my secret excursions to Hogwarts, posing as a Slytherin student, I found out many delicious details of what really goes on in the lives of the wizarding youth! After much deliberation and ninja-style sneakiness, I captured several (real) students and prepped them for interrogation. They all came from different Houses to keep things fair and totally unbiased. Under extreme
conditions, I managed to force them to squeak out a few responses. Although they would have liked to remain confidential, even if I had given them a choice I would still have let you know who they were. Take a look:
What do or did you plan to do for New Years?
-Rowan Dream from Gryffindor says: PARRTTTYY and mischief >.>
-Colm Scar from Hufflepuff says: Go to the HOL Christmas party, of course.
-Scarlet Leslie from Ravenclaw says: Hmm... most likely be with family and friends... reminiscing about the past year. We'll watch the ball in Times Square drop on TV (someday, I will be there in person!), and toast the new year :D
-Amanda Evans from Slytherin says: Hmm... I celebrated it with my bigfamily. We had real-quality-time with BBQ-ing, watched family's documentary films, got a music performance (little intern concert :P), and so on. Oh yeah, and fireworks... It can't be forgotten. Great fireworks,big family crowd, I really enjoyed it. <3 My perfect new year party? Oh, it's simple... Celebrate it with much of people, especially my closest friends and my family. Having fun together. Crowds. Revelry. Cheer. The point is: I can enjoy it and so do the others. Mmm also,it must have special sense for us... Like a kaleidoscope about a year that passed, and our motivation in welcoming the new year :)
In your opinion what was the single most significant event in the wizarding/Muggle world in the year of 2009?
-Rowan Dream from Gryffindor says: Belgium got the first European president.
-Colm Scar from Hufflepuff says: I cannot say one. There were so many, though I found the most exciting and extremely magical was the changing
of the seasons.
-Scarlet Leslie from Ravenclaw says: Muggles successfully teleported one atom from one container to another container about a meter away! What will happen when they perfect teleportation? Will we have to change Apparition rules?
-Amanda Evans from Slytherin says: In the Muggle World, it was... my sociocultural tour to an outlandish place in Nusa Tenggara Timur in June
2009. It shocked me. I never expected there were so many people that aren't as lucky as us. Wizard event? Of course, it happened when I was joining Hogwarts. There's nothing cooler than becoming a part
of the Hogwarts family. :)
Are you looking forward to 2010?
-Rowan Dream from Gryffindor says: Yes, and the new year for more mischief and fun!
-Colm Scar from Hufflepuff says: With every year comes new life and new death. I look forward to discovering the wonders of each in the nextyear.
-Scarlet Leslie from Ravenclaw says: Of course! Why wouldn't you look forward to a new year? Especially a new year with Winter Olympics. ;)
-Amanda Evans from Slytherin says: I--well--don't know... really...But I believe, where there's a will, there's a way. I just hope I can accomplish
everything well... I'm gonna make my life better than before. And new challenges... I always look forward to the new things that come to mylife. :P
Do you think it is likely that Voldemort will return?
-Rowan Dream from Gryffindor says: He already has. (*waves*)
-Colm Scar from Hufflepuff says: He always seems to return...
-Scarlet Leslie from Ravenclaw says: Definitely not. He has caused enough mayhem.
-Amanda Evans from Slytherin says: Well, yeah... No. I hope not. Come on,why would he return? -,- The magical world is quite happy without his appearance. We enjoy our life in peace. I think if Voldemort
stubbornly came back to the world, I would write an article called, 'Why the world doesn't need Voldemort' like Lois Lane did to Superman. :P
Any words to the wise for the readers?
Rowan Dream from Gryffindor says: Cleanliness is next to godliness.
Colm Scar from Hufflepuff says: Badgers eat funny, smelly Hufflepuffs.
Scarlet Leslie from Ravenclaw says: Sapphires cascade curiously vivacious jinxes.
Amanda Evans from Slytherin says: Honestly, I live in the world without any obsessions, ambitions, resolutions, or even a plan. LOL.
However, as the year 2009 comes to a close, another year comes around. That's right, boys and girls. Don't fret! The new year is coming! And with it the same age-old questions:
Is Voldemort returning?
Is my child a werewolf?
Can you pop a Bludger?
The transition between 2009 and 2010 will be table-turning, jaw-dropping, show-stopping, and Fierce with a capital F. Let's take a look at what has happened:
January 1st(ish) - While the ball dropped as usual for in New York Times Square, things weren't so quaint in the wizarding world. At 2 minutes until midnight, a spectacular shower of flaming motorcycles flew over the tiny town of Dublin, whereupon many sleepy Muggles were quickly jolted wide awake at this display of magic. The Ministry of Magic was up to its
nose in this one. The culprit is still at large.
February 28th - A huge bonfire was lit in Madison Square Garden by an unusual cult. It was made up of pixies, elves, leprechauns, and even centaurs.
Apparently the group's goal was to somehow call forth the leap year several hundred years early. Now, what the benefits of an extra day in February would have been is unknown.
March 2nd - Several leprechauns were caught terrorizing Muggles after a day of too much whiskey at Old Marm's Fire Shed. Although no one was hurt, the Muggles involved were given quite a scare. Typical pranks of that day included setting hair on fire and leaving gold all over the ground, knowing that in a few hours the gold would disappear. It was
believed this was all in preparation for St.Patrick's Day, a mysterious Muggle holiday.
April 1st - Where shall we even begin? Let's just say that there was enough tomfoolery and mayhem to last a century. The opening of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes greatly contributed to the increase of chaos in Diagon
Alley, as several thousand Weasley brand fireworks were set off simultaneously in the wizard shopping center
May 30th - Beaxubatons launched their famous Belle and Bow parade where the most attractive girls and boys from the academy were showcased to the rest of the wizarding world. These students were chosen on looks and skill, but mainly looks if I had to say so myself. Anyways, celebration went on as usual with the ice pixies and the dancing mermaids as well as
the frozen fireworks which exploded into millions of tiny butterflies.
June 3rd - A major coffee shortage left both magic-folk and Muggles struggling for survival. Massive riots and strikes charactized this hallowed day of the year as millions of angry people stormed coffee
parlors for a sip of this glorious beverage. Sadly, the results were declined working performances and missed deadlines.
July 9th - The Brixton centaurs of Tanzania finally signed an accordancewith the Mermaids of Scandinavia for shipping rights through the Straight of Malacca. This bizarre exchange was aided through the involvement of the Ministry's own International Union of Magic unit, a wondrous first achievement on their part. The treaty has had no effect whatsoever as of yet.
August 4th - The Animagus age requirement was lowered on this day only for a short time to 12. No one knows really why but it happened. There has been a lot of controversy over this decision but thankfully no one
(to my knowledge) managed to register themselves, thank the heavens.
September 18th - Winter came early for the Ethiopians as a snowstorm rushed raged through the numerous villages and cities. Residents were completely baffled and unable to cope with the resulting floods as the snow melted from the heat. By the way, I thought I should mention that while the leaves were turning gold and orange in Britain, the leaves in
America were still green, offering no indication whatsoever of the cold months ahead.
October 31st - RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! This scream was heard throughout London as disgusting mutant pygmy puffs ravaged the streets of Muggletowns. Christmas presents were stolen early, cookies were eaten straight out of the oven, and students were missing out on valuable time to study for their OWLS! The disaster was terrible but thanks to the brave
actions of a Ministry agent by the name of Paxton Primpton, the town of New Hangleton was saved. Mundungas Fletcher was later caught stealing
doorknobs off of houses but he escaped conviction.
November 20th - It was a disaster after disaster. After the mutant pygmy puff attack, order was difficult to restore. Muggles had to be obliviated and this was no easy task. While the chaos was going on in the wizarding government, the turkeys decided that was the opportune time to go on a strike. No longer did they want to be used as the emblem of bringing families together if their only duty was to end up on thedinner plate. The turkeys which were able to speak English are now in negotiations with the Prime Minister of Britain.
December 31st - Well here we are (were) again. The ball drops in New York, everyone cheers, and - WHAT'S THAT?! A FLAMING MOTORCYCLE?!!!
Thanks for reading everybody and I hope you enjoyed reading what happened in the wizarding world over the past year. Of course, this was all just a very Very VERY brief summary. Nevertheless, enjoy the rest of
the New Year while checking in on the latest editions of the SerpenTimes.
Cadeaux, out.
"Doctor Who"
Pleasant Show or Addictive Drug?
By Ardeliah Longbottom,
Gryffindor contributor
Unless you have been living under a rock the last few years, then you have heard about the latest craze over the recent seasons of Doctor Who. First, he was played by the hot-but-big-eared Christopher Eccleston. He attracted a lot of viewers with his looks and his endearing personality. But he only lasted one season of this current batch, and was replaced by the soul-searing David Tennant.
*pauses so fangirls can wipe their drool away*
David seems to have the undeniable title of the hottest, sexiest Doctor Who yet. Fangirls around the world drool in sync when he is on. His searing good looks and dazzling smile cause millions to swoon. Even when he wore his brainy specs and showed off his red trainers, which - if worn by any other guy - would have been a source of ridicule. But you won't hear anyone calling him by the derogatory 'Four Eyes'.
So for those of you who have been living under a rock, eating grubs for survival, here is a brief summary of the show. The Doctor is a 900+ year old Time Lord. A race of beings who are nearly immortal. Instead of dying, he can regenerate himself. The person he was before is gone and a brand new man appears. He travels around the universe in a Blue Police Box called a T.A.R.D.I.S. Time And Relative Dimensions In Space.
While appearing to be a police box, it is actually quite roomy, as it is much bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. It supposedly has several rooms, which have been referenced but never visited, at least on the show.
He pilots this vessel with the help of the occasional companion. Usually some good looking female. They travel the universe, visiting planets and different species in time and space. These visits almost always start off well, but then disaster strikes. No matter where in time they go, some sort of alien appears to attack. Whether based on plans of world domination/destruction or even as petty as being lonely and wanting a friend.
Seems like a nice little plot for a recurring television story, doesn't it? But that simple little plot has fans all over the planet drooling like demented lunatics. One episode featured a 'cell phone number' for the Doctor. It flashed up on the television screen for a few moments. It was a fake number. Yet thousands of people tried calling it. INSANITY!
There are numerous fan clubs out there devoted to the Doctor and some are even devoted to his companions. On livejournal, there are numerous groups who are devoted to making lol pics of the Doctor and his friends in various positions with their own text typed over the pictures. It is all very enjoyable to read. Yet it shows another depth of insanity for these 'fans'.
Fan fiction is another way these weirdos crawl out of the wood work. Elaborate tales of new adventures for the Doctor and his companion spring forth from their overactive imaginations. Sometimes straying so far from canon that you couldn't see it if you tried. Putting them into situations and having them react in ways that no good fan could ever see them doing.
If that weren't bad enough, some of these crazed fan fiction writers even go and combine their fandoms. It wouldn't be unusual for you to see the Doctor having a quiet chat with Ash Ketchum as they discuss his Pokemon and their battle styles. Or watching the Doctor battle an army of crazed Jaffa under the watchful eye of the evil Goa'uld Ra.
How on earth these twisted minds came up with these plot ideas is beyond me. Even Russell T Davies, executive producer and one of the most hated executive producers of all time, knows better than to mess that badly with the emotions of Doctor Who fans. I even noticed an lol pic the other day that dealt exactly with that situation.
Now, that covers what you see online. In one episode of the show, a group calling themselves the Linda group (London Investigation 'N' Detective Agency) made an appearance and was referenced a few times after that. Now I haven't been able to confirm it, but I have heard rumors on other sites of LINDA groups popping up. Fans who join each other out in the real world to express their love for the Dcotor in their strange and unusual ways.
There are even conventions where large masses of people get together and celebrate their inner 'Whoness' by dressing in the attire of their favorite Doctor/Companion/Bad Guy/Alien. They tell stories of their favorite shows while purchasing tiny cheap plastic figurines of the same characters. They even vie to purchase the tissue the stars of the show used to blow their noses when they have colds.
So how did it happen? How did it go from a great little sci-fi show to a full blown obsession, causing people to rush from their normal lives to dress up like an Ood in front of complete strangers, while holding a fake second brain in their hands? Should we be concerned for the future of the human race as we know it? Or is this just some strange passing fancy, like leg warmers?
I wish I could answer those questions, but I don't think we will ever know what causes perfectly normal, seemingly sane people to suddenly get into a fight to the death over the last nekkid Doctor Who figurine left on the table. All I can recommend is that you stay out of their way. That includes staying on the good side of the new Co-Head of House. She has a brand new addiction to the Doctor and with all the power she now wields, I wouldn't be surprised if she used it to have the rest of the house scour the planet for obscure and rare souvenirs for her.
So I shall leave you to ponder the mysteries of crazed fans with these famous words that fans seem to love to say...
"BITE ME, ALIEN BOI!"
Holidays from Around
the World
By: Hermionie Miranda, Hufflepuff Contributor
Ahh, December is finally here and it's finally time for the holidays! Diwali, Hanukah, Eid, Kwanzaa, and Christmas. All these holidays fall around winter, even if not always the same month.
Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. It is a day to spend with friends and family. Gift giving is traditional. Whether all your cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. spend Christmas with you or it's just you and your parents, Christmas is an amazing time for family connections. It's a day to bond with the special people in your life and to celebrate the birth of someone important.
Diwali is the festival of lights in India. It's much fun to celebrate. If you're afraid of the dark, Diwali is the day of your dreams. Females wear henna and wear special clothes. Just imagine all those lights warming you up during this cold weather. How lovely! Diwali is also a day to celebrate with your dear ones.
Hanukah is the festival of lights for Jewish people. Hanukah is a hoilday that is 8 days long! Talk about fun! A traditional game is the dreidal. It's a festival of lights, so each day a candle is lit. Once again, Hanukah is a hoilday to celebrate lights with special people in your life.
Kwanzaa is the celebration of the crops growing well, I think. I do know that African-Americans celebrate Kwanzaa. They also use something like a menorah too. I'm afraid I can't give much information about this holiday. But I know this holiday is a time to reunite with friends and family.
Whatever holiday you celebrate, everyone knows that they're a great time to unite with everyone in the world and celebrate things you are thankful for.
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A Hunger Game Review
Beautiful, touching, haunting, and brutal. These words have never been used to describe a book quite like Hunger Games. The book was written by the author of the famous Gregor Overlander series, Suzanne Collins, and is part one in the Hunger Games trilogy. The sequel, Catching Fire, is currently in stores and is equally amazing.
So what is Hunger Games? What is all the fuss, you might ask? Well, let me tell you a bit about this amazing Young Adult novel. In a distant dystopian future, a nation known as Panem emerges. Panem consists of 11 districts surrounding a rich district in the center only known as the Capitol. The Capitol is a place of wealth, luxury, and trend setters - too bad the other 11 districts aren't so well off. In Panems history, the districts tried to rebel against the hedonistic Capitol only to fail. Now as their punishment, a yearly tithe must be paid with their childrens blood. Each of the 12 districts must put all teens from the ages of 12 to 18 into a raffle where a boy and girl will be chosen to represent their district in the Games. The Games are reality T.V. gone horribly wrong. These 24 children must fight against one another in the most brutal ways imaginable because only one can win, and by win, I mean survive. Not only are they forced to kill each other in the secluded landscape of the Capitols choosing, they must also survive the nasty traps the Capitol has planned for them, play to their fans in the audience for air lifted support, and hope to God they dont have to kill anyone they love, all at the same time.
Enter this year's contestant, Katniss Everdeen, the protagonist of the book. Shes tough, shes sassy, and she loves her little sister Prim enough to take her place in the Games. Katniss is not alone though, she is chosen with her neighbor, Peeta, to go up against all odds and try to win. For not only do they fight for their life, also if they win, their starving families will have all the money and food they will ever need and their district will be honored for a full year.
Katniss is the kind of female character you often want to see, but rarely do. She might not be perfect, but this girl has good sense and an even better eye for archery. Peeta is your all-around good guy whose personality grows new dimensions as you read; just as Katniss herself grows as a person. There are many wonderful supporting characters you will meet along the way whom you will grow to love, and then have your heart wrenched from your chest as you realizes that not all of them can survive.
After youve read the book, devoured the sequel, and then sit desperately waiting for the third, you have one more thing to look forward to. Lionsgate Entertainment has acquired the Hunger Game series and is letting the author adapt it into a screenplay in the near future. So there you have it! A book that will sink its teeth into you from the first page and wont let go. Check out Hunger Games today!
Slytherin's new Quidditch Co-Captain
Presenting the new Slytherin Quidditch
co-captain Miss Meg Selwyn
(A sit down interview w/the new Snake Co-Captain)
Ryan: 1) What is your full HOL name?
Selwyn: Megaera Selwyn
Ryan: 2) What are your current positions at HOL (please name as many as possible)?
Selwyn: I'm Head Editor of the SerpenTimes, the Slytherin House paper; Prefect; and now Co-Cap for the SQT.
Ryan: 3) How is it different from being a normal player to a co-captain?
Selwyn: I'm the boss? ;) Nah, I've only been a Co-Cap for 24 hours; so I can't really say yet.
Ryan: 4) Who was the former co-captain and do you have anything to say about him?
Selwyn: The Special One himself, Xavier Dalen. And I'm really glad Xav isn't leaving; he's a fantastic Quidditch player and SQT wouldn't be the same without him.
Ryan: 5) How do you think SQT will do in the Quidditch cup this year?
Selwyn: I have great confidence in the abilities of our current members. Gabrielle Cadeaux, our rookie, has been playing very well for a newbie. So I think we'll go far.
Ryan: 6) Who is your favorite SQT member(s) and why?
Selwyn: Oh wow, favourite! Gah, couldnt tell you! We all really mesh, so there's no conflict or tension between any of us. I <3 them all.
Ryan: 7) What is your favorite Quidditch memory?
Selwyn: I think my favourite was when I was a rookie on the team and somehow I was awarded MVP for the game. I was totally shocked, seeing I was so new. But it was an awesome moment.
Ryan: 8) Do you have any plans (if any) for SQT?
Selwyn: I could tell you, but I would have to kill you. Just kidding! Actually, Fayeth and I haven't discussed much yet, so no concrete plans.
Ryan: 9) What is your favorite part about Quidditch?
Selwyn: The high I get from knowing I was quicker than the opposing team; blocking them from scoring (or getting to the scoring area, if I'm Beating).
Ryan: 10) What is your least favorite thing about Quidditch?
Selwyn: Um, probably tonnes of pauses whilst things are sorted out in refchan. But then I don't have a lot of patience during any sort of competition. >>
Ryan: 11) Who do you think will be the biggest competition this year for the Quidditch cup?
Selwyn: Ravenclaw are always very fierce, but HQT and GQT have been training hard as well. Plus, there have been many additions to all four teams, so we really have to wait and see this year!
Ryan: 12) If you could change one thing about Quidditch, what would it be and why?
Selwyn: Ties in with what annoys me the most, I guess: fewer pauses.
Ryan: 13) What is one thing you look forward to? (Quidditch wise)
Selwyn: Everything! I just love to play, full stop.
Ryan: 14) What is one thing you can work on to make yourself a better Quidditch player?
Selwyn: Honestly, there is no absolute one thing. You can be a speed demon, but if you don't know answers, that's utterly useless. Likewise, you can know answers, but without speed, you can't get them in. So it's a triple threat you need: speed, question comprehension, and remembering answers.
Ryan: 15) Do you have any advice for any anybody who wants to be a Quidditch standout?
Selwyn: Train hard, play harder.
I would like to thank Miss Selwyn for allowing me to do this interview and congratulations for being promoted to co-captainship!
With Professor Miette Bynny becoming the new Co-Head of House for Slytherin I decided to catch her in the dorms and see if I could get an interview with her. She is extremely busy as the end of the first term nears, but I did manage to get a few questions out.
Emily - Hello Professor, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for the SerpenTimes?
Miette - Emily, I would love to do an interview with you.
Emily- Yay! Success. How does it feel to have become the Co-Head of House?
Miette - I feel it's a great honor. I love Slytherin House and the power...erm, I love the fact that Paddy feels I am competent enough to handle more decision-making issues.
Emily - Did the promotion surprise you?
Miette - It did, but I am happy that I was asked. Just one step closer to world domination...erm, one step closer to achieving my goal.
Emily - Does this mean you and Paddy have to share an office now?
Miette - No, Paddy has his hidden office away from all the student and only comes out when provoked. I am currently redecorating my office. The house-elves are magically making my office bigger on the inside. Kind of like the Tardis from Dr. Who - small on the outside, bigger on the inside.
Emily - Where will you be storing House now? (For those that don't know Miette loves her Dr. House, so we try to keep her stocked with him. He sometimes breaks free and runs away, though.)
Miette - Dr. House will have a bigger, more comfy closet. He was getting cramped in the other one. But he will still be with me and in a more comfy spot.
Emily - Any upcoming plans for Slytherin?
Miette - There are quite a few in the works. I can't say because its a secret that me and only a few of my minions know about.
Emily - How is the Green vs Silver competition looking now that it is in its half way mark?
Miette - I have to admit, it's pretty difficult thinking of new ideas. This is the first year we tried to make it a full year and we are realizing how hard it is to keep coming up with original ideas. But the main thing is that we like to keep people active. An active house is a winning house. Next year we may go back to doing it for one term. It's all about learning from mistakes you make. But we are still active and have more plans.
Emily - The Scales race seems to be close as well this year, care to comment?
Miette - It is close. We have Ariel...our very eager snake going up against Faye, our veteran. The year isn't over yet, so it's still anyone's game. And at the end of the year, you get a nice shiny award.
Emily - Slytherin seems to be running a tight race this year for points, what do you think chances are for taking the House Cup?
Miette - Our chances are great. We may be a small house but we have hard working snakes. It's a great thing that the race is so close because it makes everyone want to work harder and the motivation is there. We just need to keep the momentum going. If people look back, Slytherin won the house cup the first year and that was the only time. We can bring it back this year. I know we can because I believe in my snakes.
Emily - I didn't know we won the first year. It's about time we won again then. Care to add anything else, or any warnings perhaps to the new ickles coming into Slytherin?
Miette - Just a couple...beware of Brabas...he likes to eat you when you sleep. Basil loves to eat newbies - so if you are standing next to a gryff newbie or any other newbie from a different house...you know what to do. I can't say it, but you know what. *winks*
Emily- Oh we know. *winks*
The 411 on the Man
Called Ulol
He's magical, he's all-powerful, he's Professor Ulol Kimil! I stalked - I mean, tracked him down in between classes, and he was kind enough to give me an interview. Most people have seen him around, many students have taken his classes, but who is Professor Ulol? Please read on and find out.
Q: Prof. Ulol, you do a whole lot of things here at HOL, such as being a professor, being the Deputy Head of House for Ravenclaw, Department Head of the Library as well as being part of the HOL Headoffice. Which of these positions were you the most proud to obtain?
A: It is being Deputy Head of House for Ravenclaw. I love my house so much and I've found there many amazing people I love to work with. And we have muffins!!!
Q: Since youve been the head of the Library, what has been your favorite project?
A: Uhhh... hard question. But I guess it is The Penguinators, a project where penguins try to conquer the world. Penguins are amazing, you know?
Q: So really - when DO you sleep?
A: Quite never... but usually 4 hours make the trick when you have to take care of the House not going BOOM because Cassie was playing around with the coding.
Q: I see you started HOL 2005 as a professor, were you ever a student before that or did you jump right into teaching?
A: I was a student for... 8 days. The best days of my life :) Then I was hired as professor and all the fun disappeared :(
Q: Other then the Harry Potter franchise, is there any other fictional media that you are obsessed with?
A: Wow... this will be a short list: Discworld, Fablehaven, Artemis Fowl, Doctor Who, Star Wars.
Q: Which of the Harry Potter characters do you most relate to?
A: I guess Moody. He is kinda weird, feared, and is very cynical. >_>
Q: So we all know about the mysterious and all-powerful Headoffice, but we dont know many details, so please tell us a little about what you do in an average week.
A: Usually I validate points, check my pets, get my interests from Gringotts, check the forum if something is needed to be fixed, answer PMs/messages. Yeah, that's it, unless it is the beginning of the term, then things get hectic.
Q: Now for a serious question. Pirates vs. ninjas - who would win?
A: Pirates, savvy?
Q: What traits do you posses that make you an ideal Ravenclaw? Do you possess traits from any other houses?
A: I love to read and learn new things, so that makes me a good Ravenclaw. But I am not a geek like some I will not name, like Cassie, Maya or Mark. *g*
Some say I have some Slytherin traits, but I don't know, why do they say that... unless you count that time when I painted Hufflepuff's Common Room all blue. Oh, good times, good times, good laughs. Of course, I am still banned from going there... badgers do not have a sense of humor. *bg*
Oh, and when I turn first years into slippers... very comfy, you know? So yah... kinda Slytherin-ish.
Q: What is a fun fact about you that you would like to share with our readers?
A: I am the founder with Prof. Miette Bynny of the Pig Brain Tacos, a quiddy team which is only allowed to answer "42" and "didge". No league accepted us yet. I wonder why, really.
Do you have a dream you cant figure out? Well, send it over to the Dream Oracle! Send your dreams to Zoki Phantom (zo808) and you will learn the meaning of your dream in the next issue of the SerpenTimes; just be prepared for a Slytherin-type of respone.
But now let us get down to business, we have a lot of people with all sorts of dreams for this issue. I actually believe some of them have serious ISSUES. Anyone care to have a look at them? Read on!
Shortly summed up, I was getting a Slytherin shield tattooed on my back by a vampire tattoo artist who bit me, and after that, he sent me on a weird mission to find Captain Kirk.
- Ariel Kingston
Dear Ariel, are you sure it was a vampire? And more importantly, are you sure it was a male? I heard around that a certain Gryffindor, Molly, is really into biting lately. I wouldnt be surprised if she is a vampire as well. You should keep an eye on her, dreams always give the best advice!
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I was in the house where I previously lived in, and my mom was protecting me from her evil twin. Her evil twin wanted to bite me. She was about to bite me, when my dad came in the house from work. My mom and I screamed, and my parents and I called the police. Then my mom's evil twin was sent to the mental asylum, and we never saw her again. What does this dream mean??
- Hermionie Miranda
