Ruby Tuesday
March 3-13 at BATS
sketches in Ruby Tuesday were fantastic"
WELCOME FANS AND PEOPLE WHO WANNA BE US
F-off haters. That means you Steven Maxwell you dick, go spoon your cat some more.
OUR STORY
Yo Fuglys it's Shelby Leperton and Awa Moana here. You may recognise us from the hit play Ruby Tuesday which showed the whole of Auckland how awesome we were in 2009.
WHAT WAS IT ABOUT? YOU ASK
Pretty much just how cool us two is and how all the teachers and dorks at our school suck. Especially Ms Hunt, she is the biggest cow we know. They should sell her to Anchor and milk her. Ew that made us think of her tits.
WHERE DID YA SEE IT?
After the drama lady Ms Ruby talent spotted us for being hardout good actors we got to do our show in March at The Basement in Auckland. Which was real cool except we didn't get time off school for it cause it was on at night. What a rip.
Then the man and lady from The Edge said we were about as hot as two humans can be and they asked us to do it all over again in July at The Herald Theatre. This was pretty close to our school holidays so we said we had swine flu and had to rest our voices for the show... = an extra week's holiday- Shame on yous who were at school!
BUT GUESS WHAT?
Us fullas are now coming down to Wellington in March 2010 so yous people like Peter Jackson can come and see it too and put us in your movies (Ms Hunt would make a good Hobbit actually. She has the hairy feet for it.) So have a look round our fansite and get into the reality of how good we are and then come and see us.
Shelby's real good letter to Vic Uni
Dear Victoria Uni,
Im writing this cause our dumb careers lady at school is a pushy biatch and she says I have to take a interest in my future. What she dont know is that Im already thinking way ahead. Over the past few months Ive collected enough money to go see Lady Gaga in Auckland in March. Yeayah! As long as none of my brothers find it in my undies drawer (better not be looking in there Perves) its gonna be a sweet-as trip. You dont need a passport to go between Welly and Aucks ay?
Anyways, I decided I want to come to Vic when I finish here at Avondale High. There are 2 great reasons-(1) Subway is so close by and I like to Eat Fresh (2) my cousin Tyrell goes to you and he says there is a BAR ON CAMPUS and people go there for beers between classes!!! I was like, nah Tyrell, whateva, everyone knows you carry your own supply but apparently he wasnt even bullshitting, even the careers biatch admitted theres a bar and its got SKY.
So the big question is- what am I gonna study? At school Im pretty smart but I like to keep it quiet and fool everyone by not really doing much or even being there. Miss Ruby, the Chinese drama lady, said I keep my light under a bush (??!??). I think she was making a lesbo advance at me. There is no way shes going anywhere near my bush. Seriously though, she is a fan of my acting. She thinks Im a natural but I learnt all I know off Will Smith in Independence Day. Best movie. Ever.
The careers bitch keeps shoving all these Vic Uni books in my face, she must be getting some money from you guys under the table. She says I should do Early Childhood. Whateva, Ive cleaned up enough baby dung in my time bro, my littlest brother is like a poo machine, man. I suggested we stop feeding him to break the pooey cycle but no one else is keen.
Her next idea was Design which is a real possibility. First Id like to redesign the Avondale High uniform. I reckon we put some big-ass patches on the back of the jumpers, to show the other schools that we can smash them. Im working on one design already- its pretty simple, just a hand doing the fingers. Gets the message across.
Apparently you guys also do Arts majoring in English. When the lady told me that I was like, hey bro I can speak real good already so stop raining on my parade. Must be a course for dumbos. But she says there are other options like media and music and shit, which Im already hardout choice at! If any song ever comes on the radio and some dumbass is like Yo who sings this? I can always name it real quick, right up close in their face so they dont forget it.
Im pretty looking forward to Vic Uni now that Ive thought about my career in the music biz. It must be pretty sweet-as not having any teachers around or people telling you off. I bet you guys go crazy, riding your bikes in the lecture rooms and tagging on the geeks and shit ay?
So now to cut to the titty gritty, Im not exactly 16 yet but Im real close so maybe you could put in a real good word for me so I can leave Avondale High and just come straight to Vic when I get back from Lady Gaga. This place is fucking me off big time.
Hurry up and tell my principal Ms Hunt that I can come.
Cant wait bro,
Shelby Leperton
PS. You guys have a soft-serve machine in your lecture rooms ay? If Tyrell is bullshitting me I will smash him.
Hot laydees always being hot
Cool
Teachers who boss us heapz
MS HUNT (Principal)
*She is a dragon
*Her breath hits your nostrils like a sledgehammer of pong. It smells like that cheese rich people eat that has blue mold on it- GROSS - if I was rich I wouldn't be putting up with mold on my food you Dumbasses
Going to school a whole 3 or 4 out of 7 days sucks enuf without these hags looking down on us everyday. If you're gonna join our school coz you got kicked out of yours then these are the people you need to know about in advance. And maybe go someplace else instead. Unless you're loaded and real generous and you're gonna buy us shit in the tuck shop. Then we want you.
MR DUNGAREE (Science)
*Real nerdy
*Smells like tuna but he calls it "toona" (weirdo)
*Carries a nana handbag even tho he reckons he is a mister.
MISS DUNCAN (P.E.)
*Total anal psycho
*Quite a fatty even tho it's her job to make you run
*Never uses deoderant even tho she needs to and totally knows it
UPCOMING SHOWS
BATS Theatre - Wellington Fringe 2010
8pm Wed 3rd -- Sat 13th of March (no shows Mon/Sun)
Book tickets through BATS
PHONE: 04 802 4175
E-MAIL: book_bats.co.nz
WEB: www.bats.co.nz
LOCATION: 1 Kent Terrace
Wellington
New Zealand
TICKETS: $16 full / $13 concession / $12 Fringe Addict cardholders
Click on the next few pages to have a
peek at our Bios and reviews of the
show.
Ruby Tuesday was devised by Josephine Stewart-Tewhiu and Isla Adamson the summer after we finished drama school.
It arose out of our desire to perform in front of an audience as soon as possible, the realisation that if we wanted work we would have to make it for ourselves, and a surplus of crazy characters we'd both been toying with over the years.
The result is a comedy in which we play 8 characters between the two of us. It tells the story of an unforseen tragedy on a normal day at a fictional Kiwi highschool.
Josephine Stewart-Tewhiu
Cynthia Ruby / Awa / Anjelica / Ms Hunt / Mr Dungaree
Josephine Stewart-Tewhiu is a graduate of Unitec's School of Performing and Screen Arts majoring in Acting. Before attending drama school she received a Bachelor of Arts from the University of Auckland in Film and philosophy. She has performed in "The Gods of Warm Beer" and "Awhi Tapu" for Centerpoint Theatre in Palmerston North, has played 'Puck' in "A Midsummer Nights Dream", 'Edward/Betty' in "Cloud Nine" and recently received 'Best Actress- Runner Up' in Auckland's 2010 Short and Sweet Festival.
She enjoys reading, writing and has a penchant for collecting matchboxes.
Isla Adamson
Shelby Leperton / Moira McCartney / Ms Duncan
Isla completed a Bachelor of Performing & Screen Arts (Acting major) at UNITEC in 2008.
Her career highlights include playing Angie in Top Girls under Jennifer Ward-Lealand's direction as well as appearing in Auckland Theatre Company's SHREW'D, Christ Almighty! at The Basement and The Threepenny Opera for Silo Theatre.
In 2010 she will happily resume her role as Holly in Kiwi playwright Sam Shore's fantastic play The Idea of America.
Isla is a proud member of Actors' Equity.
REVIEWS
JANET MCALLISTER, The New Zealand Herald (in Blessed with rich variety and verve) 12 December 2009
"Up-and-coming performers include Isla Adamson and Josephine Stewart-Tewhiu whose humorous and detailed character sketches in Ruby Tuesday were fantastic"
JAMES AMOS, Theatreview.org.nz, 11 March 2009
"If you want to be entertained with great acting and a sweet story, go see Ruby Tuesday"
SIAN ROBERTSON, Theatreview.org.nz, 11 March 2009
"has broad appeal and plumbs the depths of its characters, ultimately transcending the wickedly funny stereotypes"
"Ruby Tuesday does hit the spot, with a touching story and memorable characters. A little gem"
MARGI MARTIN, Theatreview.org.nz, 23 July 2009
"a compelling narrative laced with side-splitting humour"
"Well worth the viewing!"
Please feel free to contact us for more information about Ruby Tuesday performances.
Isla - isla.adamson_gmail.com
Josephine - js_pants_hotmail.com
We hope you enjoy our show. as much as we enjoy performing it.
