Ira
We have been starving for nearly 3 weeks now.
Kuti is lying right beside me with nothing but hunger and weakness in his eyes and he doesn't even have the strength to cry now. Everytime Mum looks at him, I can see how sad she is but we can't do anything. We try as hard as we can to save some food for him but we barely eat, hence we are all very weak.
I started to realize that I can't just sit here doing nothing when I'm seeing Kuti lying right beside me, barely breathing. I can't let him surrender to death and just let the devil take him away. I love my family and they had done a lot for me. I have to do something for them, especially when everything is becoming worse. But I'm just a woman, who is too weak to work on the farm and too stupid to work in the tannery. I can't do anything except for
Prostitution.
Which is another form for dirty. People will never forgive you no matter how good your reason is; in fact, they will try to hurt you as much as possible.
That's the only thing I can do to earn money and buy food for my family. What other choice do I have? None. Sometimes you just have to give up on something even if its a really important aspect of your life and your soul. Life has never been fair and you can't do anything but obey what it tells you to do, although it might make you dirty, unloved, and rejected.
I just hope that Mum won't get hurt. I know there's no way she would forgive me but Im just going to do it even if everyone hates me and thinks Im disgusting. I will try to keep this a secret for as long as possible.
Money is what we really need now.