On this website you will find tools that will help you recognize the signs of depression. Please read them and equip yourself with what it is you can do to prevent this deadly decease called depression from taking away anyone you love. Knowledge is power. Jason, would have wanted to share them with the world.
God Bless.
unfortunately any donation can not recieve a tax reciept at this moment.
This site is not fully registered as a foundation as of yet. We tend to run it and hope to make it into a foundation
We are not doctors or psychiatrists we just want to spread the word and give people the right resources to help
Depression
Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another.
True clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life.
Causes, incidence, and risk factors
The exact cause of depression is not known. Many researchers believe it is caused by chemical changes in the brain. This may be due to a problem with your genes, or triggered by certain stressful events. More likely, it's a combination of both.
Some types of depression run in families. But depression can also occur if you have no family history of the illness. Anyone can develop depression, even KIDS.
The following may play a role in depression:
• Stressful life events
• Death or illness of someone close to you
• Divorce
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Childhood abuse or neglect
• Job loss
• Certain medical conditions, including underactive thyroid, cancer, or long-term pain
• Certain medications such as steroids
• Sleeping problem
• Breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend
• Failing a class
• Social isolation (common in the elderly)
Symptoms
Depression can change or distort the way you see yourself, your life, and those around you.
People who have depression usually see everything with a more negative attitude, unable to imagine that any problem or situation can be solved in a positive way.
Symptoms of depression can include:
• Agitation, restlessness, and irritability
• Dramatic change in appetite, often with weight gain or loss
• Very difficult to concentrate
• Fatigue and lack of energy
• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
• Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, and guilt
• Becoming withdrawn or isolated
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Trouble sleeping or excessive sleeping
Depression can appear as anger and discouragement, rather than feelings of sadness.
If depression is very severe, there may also be psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations and delusions.
Our Purpose is to educate and provide families and friends with the tools to deal with depression.
Suicidal
Im seriously thinking about suicide. What should I do?
Suicidal Thoughts
If you are thinking about suicide, you are not alone. Many people have thoughts of suicide, for a number of reasons. Thoughts of suicide can be very scary. You probably feel hurt, confused, overwhelmed and hopeless about your future. You may feel sadness, grief, anger, guilt, shame, or emptiness. You may think that nothing can be done to change your situation. Your feelings may seem like they are just too much to handle right now. It is important to know that thinking about suicide does not mean that you will lose control or act on these thoughts. Having thoughts of suicide does not mean you are weak, or crazy. Many people think about suicide because they are looking for a way to escape the pain they are feeling. Even though your situation seems hopeless and you wonder if you can stand another minute of feeling this bad, there are ways to get through this and feel better. You dont have to face this situation alone. Help is available. Here are a few ideas that you can use right now.
Connect with others: If you are worried that you may lose control or do something to hurt yourself, tell someone. Make sure you are around someone you trust. If you live alone, ask a friend or family member to stay with you. If you dont know anyone or cant reach friends or family members, call --------------------------.
Keep your home safe by getting rid of ways to hurt yourself: It is important to get rid of things that could be used to hurt or kill yourself, such as pills, razor blades, or guns. If you are unable to do so, go to a place you can feel safe. Develop a safety plan: It is very helpful to have a written safety plan when you have thoughts of hurting yourself. Have a trusted family member, friend, or professional help you to complete this safety plan. Keep this plan somewhere you can see or find easily. Write down the steps you will take to keep yourself safe (see the following example). Follow the steps. If you follow these steps and still do not feel safe, call a crisis line, get yourself to a hospital emergency room or call 911.
Grief After Suicide
Coming to terms with the death of a loved one is one of lifes most challenging journeys. When the death is from suicide, family members and friends can experience an even more complex kind of grief. While trying to cope with the pain of their sudden loss, they are overwhelmed by feelings of blame, anger and incomprehension. Adding to their burden is the stigma that still surrounds suicide.
Survivors of suicide and their friends can help each other and themselves by gaining an understanding of grief after suicide. For survivors, it helps to know that the intensity of their feelings is normal. Friends can learn how to support the bereaved.
A Different Grief
Survivors of suicide – the family and friends of a person who completes suicide – feel the emotions that death always brings. Adding to their suffering is the shock of a sudden, often unexpected death. As well, they may feel isolated and judged by society, friends and colleagues.
Some people compare the emotional stress to being trapped on an endless roller-coaster. Survivors may feel: guilt, anger, blame, shame, confusion, relief, despair, betrayal, abandonment disconnected from their loved one because he or she chose to die consumed by a need to find the meaning and reasons for the suicide an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the death the suicide was malicious, or a way for the deceased to get back at them.
Stigma Affects Mourning
Suicide is a difficult topic for many people. Cultural and religious taboos can lead to judgmental or condemning attitudes. Some people prefer to avoid even discussing suicide and their lack of knowledge about it makes them fearful. Attitudes like these can isolate and further stress survivors.
Stigma leads survivors to feel abandoned by their social network. They describe:
- Being avoided by friends or acquaintances
- Feeling judged
- People behaving as if the death had not occurred
- Some survivors perceive stigma that is not really there. They may anticipate difficult questions and disapproval, and withdraw in order to protect themselves.
Whether it is real or perceived, stigma can affect a survivors journey to acceptance.
What Survivors Should Know
First, know that you are not alone. Approximately 1 out of 4 people know someone who died by suicide. It can also help to know that:
- Suicide was the decision of the person who died
It is estimated that the majority of suicides are the result of untreated depression or other mental illness
Survivors Are at Risk
Survivors of suicide are at high risk of completing suicide themselves. The experience suddenly makes the idea of suicide very real, and it is not uncommon for survivors to experience suicidal thoughts. Another factor is that suicide-related illnesses like depression run in families.
Because of this increased risk for suicide, survivors should not be isolated, but rather supported and encouraged to talk about all their feelings – even the most difficult ones.
Survivor Coping Strategies
No two people ever experience grief in the same way, or with the same intensity, but there are strategies that can help you cope with your loss.
- Acknowledge that the death is a suicide
- Recognize your feelings and loss
- Talk openly with your family so that everyones grief is acknowledged and can be expressed
- Reach out to your friends and guide them if they dont know what to say or do
- Find support groups where you can share your stories, memories and methods of coping
- Be aware that anniversaries (e.g. birthdays) can be especially difficult and consider whether to continue old traditions or begin new ones
- Develop rituals to honour your loved ones life
How Can I Help My Friend?
Showing a willingness to listen is probably the most important thing you can do for a friend who is a survivor of suicide. It may be distressing at first, but you're not expected to provide answers. Instead, you can be a comforting, safe place for someone who desperately needs to talk.
What you can do:
- Listen with non-judgmental compassion
- Understand that your friend will need time to deal with their loss
- Avoid clichés
- Talk about the person who has died
- Offer practical assistance such as shopping, cooking, driving
- Find and offer information on resources, support groups, etc.
- Be aware of difficult times, like anniversaries and holidays
For Everyone who visits this site I will share my personal experience and deliver a very powerful message. The Our Story has been the hardest for me to be able to put into words.I have often thought about my story and how I would deliver it.
So...unedited by any judgement the world may have and the religious taboos and in general just a very difficult topic to talk about suicide and depression. I decided to share this story with courage, dignity, and above all else honesty and a very strong belief in God. I want all who read my story to know that I do not adhere to any religious organizations. My faith is with God and God alone. Through this experience my spiritual connection has never been stronger than it is today. I WOULD LIKE TO DELIVER A VERY STRONG MESSAGE. SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER!
When someone close to you takes their life "they take a part of you with them". A huge part of me died along with my little brother when he took his life May 21st 2010. I thought to myself...there is no need to share details, no need to be graphic just deliver a message. But I have decided to share the tragedy as it unfolded. In May 2010 I was working in a dream position, great income, working with very talented people and my mind was always on the next deal. Executive lunches, suppers, events, well I'm sure you get the picture. It still amazes me how after all this time certain memories are a fog and others are crystal clear. I received a phone call from my little brothers finance. All I heard was hysterical screaming and then the phone went dead. I got a call back and a neighbor spoke explaining that something happened to my little brother and I should come immediately. I thought he was in a serious accident but something told me I should call my sister and not drive or go alone. So, I called her and explained something happened to Jay and she came right away with her husband . When we pulled up all I could see were police cars and an ambulance.
I just remember so many lights and police cars in front of his home. I went downstairs briefly to be told that he had hung himself in his closet. I can assure you it did not register. My 1st response was I have to go check on my little brother and see how bad it is? I could not compute that he had taken his life. Please know Jason whom I always called Jay was one of the happiest guys you could meet. He was always laughing, and lifting other people spirits including mine. Jay was always looking for someone or something to save. Many people in the days, weeks, months to follow shared how Jay had saved their lives. He stood by them through drug abuse, alcohol abuse, depression. He loved helping people and if you were a stray animal and you came in Jason's path then you could be sure you would have a home. My mom knows that well along with all his friends as he made sure everyone had a pet : ). My mom got more than her share!
Here is what I want to share Jay was very sensitive, 6"3, 220pds and arms that would wrap around you and you would disappear. He was a very handsome, A big Teddy bear! I remember when I was younger I was jealous because I thought my baby brother was better looking than me and he was the boy! I had been the baby of 5 children and I was 4 when Jay was brought home from the Hospital, as cute as he was I did not take to him very easily but quickly being the two youngest he became the love of my life and the apple of my eye. He followed me everywhere, hid in the closet in the morning because he did not want to go to school. I would make sure off to school he went as my mom worked hard and had her hands full raising us doing the best she could as a single parent. All this to say that Jay was the baby of the family with a huge heart and a big smile. Whenever, he would hear anyone talk about suicide he was baffled and stated how can anyone do that? He was anti suicide and not a depressive person. He never threatened suicide. He did however looking back have anger issues. He would keep his emotions inside he never found it easy to articulate how he truly felt about things and was always eager to forgive. Back to May 21st 2010.
I proceeded to go upstairs and found two police officers standing in front of his bedroom door. I wanted to go into the room and check on him, see how he was doing. I remember the police officer trying to tell me I do not think you should go in. I became angry and could not understand why he would not allow me to see my little brother all I could think of was getting to him and making it better seeing how bad it really was. Finally after arguing persistently with the police officer he looked at my brother in law and my brother in law said let her in sort of with a nod. He must have witness it before I did and he MY Brother-in -law has always protected my sister and our entire family INCLUDING ME!
When I went through the door I saw my little brother lying there. What I saw NO ONE should ever see! All I could say is...Why Jay? Why? Jay Why? I knew his engagement to his finance was called off, I knew they were having their problems. I even knew that he felt burnt out and quit his job. He had worked there for 15 years. He told me he wanted a change and he wanted to move out of Montreal and do something different. Every time I asked him how he was...he would say fine. Just feeling burnt out like I need a change, a break. I even thought that maybe that would be good for him. He always deep down loved the Country. Maybe he was ready to leave the City. Once, two weeks prior to him taking his life he called me in the middle of the night at about 2:30 am and asked me to sing him a song. He was with his finance and I said Jay I work tomorrow.
He only had to ask twice and I sang him a few songs...as I started singing he laughed and told me how he always loved the way that I could not sing. I sang him winter, spring, summer or fall all you have to do is call by James Taylor. He never made that call. Back to May 21st 2010 in Jays room after repeatedly asking him why??? I took my cross off from around my neck and put it around his. As my hands shook I could barely lift him and he looked nothing like himself. I then kissed his forehead and stood straight up as if I had been at a business meeting and walked out of the room. I remember looking at the police officer and seeing tears in his eyes. I cannot imagine how police officers deal with such tragedy in their daily lives. God Bless them all.
Over the next year and a half I went through every possible emotion you could possibly imagine. WHY DID I NOT SEE THE SIGNS??? THEY WERE SO VERY CLEAR LOOKING BACK. HOW COME I DID NOT GO AND GET HIM? AFTER ALL I KNEW HIM BETTER THAN ANYONE, WE WERE THE CLOSEST. WE SHARED EVERYTHING, WE WENT THROUGH EVERYTHING TOGETHER. HOW CAN THIS EVEN BE AN OPTION FOR HIM? HOW COULD HE LEAVE ME? HOW COULD HE LEAVE HIS FAMILY, HIS BROTHERS HIS SISTERS, HIS NEICES, HIS NEPHEWS, MY KIDS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HIS SON?
His son was 10 years old at the time. After months of sitting at self-help groups for families of suicide survivors, weekly meeting with a wonderful psychologist, spiritual moments with God, sharing and healing with my sister and brothers, who played an instrumental role in my recovery which is still on going and asking some serious questions over and over and over again. I suffered which is called not just grief, shock, guilt but contagious depression. Learning to forgive myself was my greatest challenge. With God's help I can now share this message with the world. Depression was the reason my little brother took his life. He had a broken heart from a failed relationship. (Please let it be known that in no way do I place blame on his finance or anyone else for that matter.)
The truth is there is NO ONE to blame. Jay kept a lot of emotions inside and a lot of pain that went way back to his childhood. He was ashamed to share his pain, his experiences in fear that he would be judged. Men are taught to be strong, not to show their emotions, not to cry in some families. Here is my message... face your fear, for when you look fear in the eye it loses its power. Learn to FORGIVE, I believe that is the only way any person can truly move on and be truly happy. Get professional help. Do NOT let your PRIDE stand in the way. Through this tragic journey, beautiful relationships have been developed, true friendships, this website, the courage to speak and share the truth.
I will leave you with a prayer I now live by: God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
If someone close to you is suffering from depression, it can be difficult, confusing, and saddening not just for them but for you as well. Depression never just impacts one person - it takes over the lives of friends, family, co-workers, teachers, peers....although many people try to hide depression, what they really need is support, friendship and help. If you know somebody, particularly somebody close to you, suffering from depression, or if you suspect they may be, then sitting by doing nothing and watching them go through it will break your friendship and do nothing to help the either of you. However, helping someone suffering from this disease can be difficult, heavy and stressful. If you're looking for advice, then this article is for you.
1- Help the person to recognize that there is a problem. If a friend or family member's activity and outlook on life starts to decline and stays down, not for a few days, but for weeks, depression could be the cause. Many people dont even realize that they are depressed. Encourage your friend to share his or her feelings with you, since talking about depression makes things better, not worse. Once it starts to become clear that something is wrong, you can suggest that he or she seek professional help.
2- Explain that asking for help does not mean they lack moral character. On the contrary, it takes both courage and wisdom to know when someone needs help. Help them to understand that they have taken a big step, and encourage them.
3- Learn everything you can about clinical depression. Find out about symptoms of depression and how to tell when your loved one is improving. Educate yourself on the issues that you should be careful about, and learn how to support your friend in the best way. Knowledge is power and understanding.
4- Provide emotional support. What a person suffering from depression needs most is compassion and understanding. Telling someone to "snap out of it" or "lighten up" are awful things to say. The best things to say are, "How can I help you?" or "I will always be here for you. I won't leave you to face this on your own." Usually, depressed people lie about their depression, so if someone says, "Are you okay?" they will say "Yes," but you have to make sure they can tell you how they really feel.
5- Provide physical support. Participate with your friend or loved one in low-stress activities such as taking a walk, watching a movie, or going out to eat somewhere nice (often they won't want to eat at all, but they might eat good food). In some cases you can ease the depressed persons burden by helping with the small things— running errands, shopping for food and necessities, cooking, cleaning, etc.
6- Monitor possible suicidal gestures or threats. Monitor possible suicidal gestures or threats. Statements such as "I wish I were dead," or "I dont want to be here anymore," must be taken seriously. Depressed people who talk about suicide are not doing it for the attention. If the person you care about is suicidal, make sure that a doctor or trained professional is informed as soon as possible. Meanwhile, hold on to the possibility that your loved one will get better, even if he or she does not believe it.
7- Dont try to talk the depressed person out of his or her feelings. The depressed persons feelings may be irrational, but telling them they are wrong or arguing with them is not the way to go. Instead, you might try saying, "Im sorry that youre feeling bad. What can I do to help?"
8- Step back every so often. You may become frustrated when your well-meaning advice and reassurance are met with sullenness and resistance. Please dont take your loved ones pessimism personally— its a symptom of the illness. Direct your frustration at the illness, not the person.
9- Communicate with other people in the person's support network. Contact family, friends, clergy, etc. By talking to other caregivers, you will pick up additional information and perspective about your loved one. You could even arrange for all of the caregivers to meet together for a brainstorming/support session. Then you will be working as part of a team—and be encouraged that you are not alone. Be careful when you tell other people about the person's depression. People can be judgmental if they do not understand the issue fully, so choose carefully as to whom you tell.
10- Take good care of yourself. It is easy to get wrapped up in your friends problems and lose sight of yourself. You may also experience contagious depression, or you may get your own issues triggered. Recognize that your feelings of frustration, helplessness, and anger are perfectly normal.
11- Stay in contact. Call them on the phone, write an encouraging card or letter, or visit them in their home. They will know that you care if you do things like this. It tells the person that you are willing to stick by them no matter what
Go to our Resources Page for telephone numbers of help lines and links...Let us know if there are others we can add them to our website
You might think about charity as something you do with the extra change you find lying around, or by supporting a friend running in a local race. That's how we used to feel – until we learned how much even a modest amount of charity can accomplish when given to the right organizations.
It's common for charities to make big promises, and in most cases they can't deliver. But after researching hundreds of charities and the programs they carry out, the JAY FOUNDATION can truly demonstrate impact - and with this charity, your donation can make a huge difference.
Ultimately, there's no "right" answer to the question of which cause you should support. As you consider that decision, it's worth recognizing that the impact you can have with your donation varies greatly between causes. If you focus on education in NYC, it costs over $100,000 to educate a student throughout 12 years of school. When supporting international aid, you can save a person's life for less than $1,000.
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DEPRESSION HOTLINES
•Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433)
Can use in US, U.K., Canada and Singapore
•Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999
•National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245)
•National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000
•Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS
•NDMDA Depression Hotline Support Group: 1-800-826-3632
•Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET
•Crisis Help Line For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357
•Suicide & Depression Crisis Line Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999
TIPS
- Be patient. Things like this take time.
- Try to cheer them up, but don't overdo it. People don't appreciate being told to "laugh" or "cheer up!" when they feel extremely depressed, though if they seem better than usual or very mildly depressed then you can carefully try to improve their mood or distract them.
- Listen, don't dominate.
- Try to hold as much positive conversation as possible. Don't be forcefully perky, but show them a better angle of viewing their life and situation. For example "You always have me", or "This is making you a stronger person".
- Do not try to tell the person that everything will be ok because that just upsets them more.
- Don't make a joke out of everything. Show that you seriously care about what is going on.
Remember you are NOT alone....
