ICAN.Lincoln
a chapter of
the international cesarean awareness network, inc.
Kaden Benjamin 3.13.09
BIRTH STORIES
Adam and Kristen
Friday, March 13, 2009
2:22 am
7 lbs 13 oz
20.5" long
On Sunday March 8th, Adam and I went to Target to try to walk Kaden out of me, lol. I had been having contractions off and on for several weeks. At my doctors appointment the week before the doctor said that at my Monday appointment, we would talk about setting up a time to break my water. I did NOT want to do this at all. So, I scheduled my appointment for Wednesday instead (after the Dr. left out the back door). So, on Sunday, I knew we needed to do something to get things going. The week before I was seeing the chiropractor and doing nipple stimulation in hopes that it would stir something up. And, nothing. So, we get to Target and all of a sudden I am getting the aura of the start of a migraine. I got migraines all through high school and college but they went away after the stresses of school. I have only had a few since then. Two of which where the week before I had my positive pregnancy tests with my two children, so right away I turned to Adam and said, labor is around the corner. I just know it as I am going through a hormonal change right now. He told me it was wishful thinking of course. Got home Sunday night and did my nightly ritual of nipple stimulation and red raspberry leaf tea and had some good contractions for a couple of hours, then nothing so we went to bed. Thank goodness I made Friday my last day of work, so that I could focus on getting this baby out!
On Monday, I had another appointment with the chiropractor and he did more active acupressure points on my ankles and my hands. He told me that he would see me back on Wednesday after my doctor appointment, and we would go from there based on what the doctor said. After my appointment, we all went bowling, Emma, Adam and I. Someone told me Bowling can start contractions. Well, Monday night I had a few, but nothing to write home about. I woke up in the middle of the night with some and timed them, about 8 minutes apart and pretty intense. I got up and took a shower to help deal with them. After I went back to bed they were still about 8 minutes apart, but eventually I dozed off, so obviously not the real deal.
All day Tuesday I would have strong ones off and on. I was just praying things would speed up. I did more nipple stimulation and took a nap. Woke up from my nap and the contractions were really strong for a while, but of course, again petered out on me. I decided that I would go to the mall after I picked Emma up from daycare and we would do some laps (it was way too cold to walk outside). We walked around a while, and I had a few contractions that I had to stop for. We decided to eat Applebee's together as I thought; this might be the last time that it is just Emma and me. Partway through the meal, I started having strong contractions, and was really having to focus my breathing through them. I was so ready to head home as I didn't know how bad they might get. Of course, 2 1/2 year olds don't eat fast and she was miss pokey! I think I was making our server really nervous, lol! Finally she finishes and on the way home I was about ready to die driving because they were getting so strong. They were still about 8-10 minutes apart, so very doable. I just wanted to get home and get Emma to bed so that I could focus on them. I finally get her off to bed and go to the restroom and lose a big chunk of my mucous plug and have some bloody show. Yay, I thought! Maybe tonight is the night!!! After that contractions picked up, and were every 5-6 minutes and I really had to focus through them. It was so hard because Adam wasn't there to help me breathe and focus. He asked if he needed to come home from work (he works nights), but I told him to just wait. He gets off at midnight. By the time he got home they were very miserable. I was still losing chunks of mucous, but things weren't speeding up. He coached me through the contractions all night. I didn't really sleep at all. He kept dozing off. At one point I got up and took a bath because he was sleeping and that seemed to help a little bit.
Woke up on Wednesday and still having contractions. UGH! I swore labor would never end. Wednesday we took Emma to the sitter for the whole day and Adam and I focused on dealing with the contractions. We had a friend that was going to pick Emma up so we were hoping sometime that day we would be having a baby. Contractions all day long were anywhere from 3 minutes apart, then 10, then 3, then 5. They were all over the place. We went and did a little shopping as my doula said I needed to walk, walk, walk. Oh, yeah, I was supposed to go to the doctor today. I actually called in and said that my daughter was sick with the stomach flu and I would call back to reschedule, lol! I'm so naughty!!! I couldn't go in having contractions, or he would have sent me straight to the hospital. While we were out and about, they really picked up on a pain scale, but didn't get any closer. By the time we got home, they had fizzled out again and I was exhausted, so we took a little nap. I would still wake up for the contractions, but was so exhausted that I was able to sleep in between them. Not great sleep, but at least something. Wednesday night was horrible!!! I literally thought I was going to die all night long. Contractions would be 3 minutes apart for about 2 hours, then 10, then 5, then 8. All over again. Why couldn't things get consistent!
I woke up Thursday in tears. I told Adam, "I can't do this another night. I just can't anymore." I was missing Emma as she was gone the whole day before and I was exhausted. I called my doula and she suggested having Emma come by for lunch and a little time in the afternoon to lift my spirits. She also said that she had talked to two of her homebirth midwives about my labor pattern, and they said, "Nicci, why do you think doctors don't want to do VBAC's? Because they take too long and they end up inducing or using pitocin." She said that most VBAC labors last anywhere from 1-6 days, if you include prodromal labor. I was like, 6 days!!! I can't do that many more of this!!! She said that it is because the uterus is only contracting for the first couple of days from the scar tissue down and around to the back. Totally made sense as my whole belly was never tensing up, it was just really low and extremely painful low. I was just praying that things picked up soon. My doula said that she would be by around 5 if I didn't call her sooner to check on me and do an ankle massage.
When she came by I was in better spirits. Having Emma around really helped a lot, but I was really getting emotionally worn and physically exhausted from the days of labor. She gave me a massage and at the time my contractions were about 10 minutes apart again. I broke down and cried as I felt it would never end. She decided it was time to call around and see if she could find someone who could come to my house to check me to see what progress I had made so far. She called her homebirth midwife from out of state to get some contacts, and she said, I'm in Linocln! Woohoo! She was less than 5 minutes from my house at a home birth. She said she would be more than happy to come check me. Yes! Now, I'm just praying that I am at least a 4 or something. I was only 1 cm at my last dr. appt the week before. She got there and checked me and said, you are 95% effaced, and 6 cm dilated!!! WooHOO!!!! I was making some progress. She said my birth canal was really short, so pushing him out should be a breeze. I was +1 station as well.
My doula told me that I should try to get some rest if possible and to call if we needed her. She was going to go home and nurse her little one and get some rest. If she hadn't heard from us by midnight she would call or come over. She said, if your water breaks it will liklely go fast from there. Call me if it breaks. Also, the midwife suggested that I labor on my hands and knees with my butt in the air, and my head down low. That the pressure from the baby down on the scar tissue would help dilate me faster. Also, I had a slight cervical lip, so that would help with that as well. So, I took a shower and we assumed the position. By about 11:00, I was ready to die, seriously moaning through each and every contraction. I told myself, a few more contractions like these and we need to call Nicci. Contractions were about 3 minutes apart lasting at least 90 seconds. Well, at 11:19, just before I was going to tell Adam to call Nicci, I felt the pop and my water broke! Yippee!!! Adam stayed so calm. He loaded up the car and I went to the bathroom. We headed downstairs and were halfway out the door and I remembered that we needed my orange juice for after he was born. Adam laughed that I actually thought of that.
The ride to the hospital was excruciating. Contractions were one on top of another. Adam called and told them to page my doctor. but they kept arguing that he wasn't on call. He said, my wife is a VBAC patient and her doctor said we needed to demand you page him. They called back later and said, Dr. D. will meet you there. UGH! Not my Dr!!! Great!!! We get to the hospital and I wanted to walk in. Silly me! It took us forever to get to L&D because I had to stop so many times for contractions. Once up there the stupid receptionist is like, you need to sign this and that. Well, contractions were on top of one another and I couldn't even look at her. Finally she realized we needed a room NOW! lol
Got into the room and they checked me and the nurse said, Maybe a 5 or 6. WHAT?!?!? Are you kidding me? I was a 6, 6 hours ago! They got me on the monitors and put in my hep lock. I then asked to go to the bathroom. In there I about broke down. They had made Adam go sign the admission paperwork and Nicci was in there with me. I said I can't handle it anymore. Not if it can be hours and hours longer. Since it had already been days, who knew how many hours these 4 cm could take. She calmed me down and reminded me of the Natural Alignment Plateau. She said, Kristen, focus! This is going to go fast. Trust me. You can do it. We went back into the other room and I leaned over the side of the bed and rocked during the contractions. A few contractions like this and I was screaming that there was tons of pressure. Luckily Adam was back by now and helping to keep me calm. I did a couple more contractions standing like that and I screamed that the pressure was too much. Nicci and Adam got me into the bed on my hands and knees but the pressure was too much. At this point the contractions never stopped. I would have one; it would peak, and start to go down, then peak again over and over. I laid on my said and said I need to push I can't not anymore. I went ahead and gave a practice push to see how it felt. It felt soooo good! She said try one more like that and she would get the nurse. I did another one and it felt great so she went to get the nurse. Who, of course I think rolled her eyes because I had been there less than an hour and she didn't believe I could be ready to push.
She checked me and that is when panic ensued, lol. She screams out into the hallway, she is 100%, 9.5 cm, and +2 station!!! There was no Dr. there yet as they thought they had plenty of time! They told me not to push which was killing me and I wasn't taking deep breaths because of this. At this point Kaden's heart tones were not stable and the room filled and panic ensued. Before I knew it I was on oxygen and hooked up to an IV. They made me move back to hands and knees to help put pressure on the cervical lip. They were afraid I would tear it if I continued to push and they wanted Kaden's heart to stabilize before they would let me push as well as they didn't know how long it would take me to push him out. This all was happening only an hour after I got to the hospital. My contractions were still one on top of another and they couldn't get a hold of my doctor, so they were forced to call in Dr. D. UGH! But, she wasn't in the hospital anymore and was on her way home so we had to wait for her too. Each contraction, my body would involuntarily push and Kaden's heart tones would drop. The nurses were getting frantic. I could hear things going on in the room but couldn't see as I was on my hands and knees. I would hear bits and pieces, "Call the resident for back up" "Prep O.R." "Get the anesthesiologist up here". Hearing all of this was freaking me out as I feared they were prepping for...an emergency c section. After days of labor and all of my prep the last 9 months this couldn't end in a c section.
I was able to not push at all through the next 2 contractions. and was doing my horsy lips and taking my deep breaths. Adam was amazing throughout all of this, staying calm for me and helping me focus. A few contractions later, I couldn't control it again and pushed a little bit to relieve some pressure. His heart tones dropped again and the nurse got in my face down on the bed and said, "Hun, I know you want to do this vaginally and we don't want a c section...you cannot push!" That is all it took for me and I held off pushing for what felt like forever but was probably only about 15 minutes of nonstop contractions. Finally someone walked in and said, Dr. D is on the floor. The nurse turned to me and said, "Okay, hun now you can push" A few pushes later and you heard them screaming again, "He is crowning get the doctor in here!" Nicci told me to reach down and feel my baby and I could feel all of his hair. I started to tear up. I couldn't believe it.
At this point the Dr. got in the room and she made me roll to my back. We tried to argue, but the Dr. said that I had to for the safety of the baby...kind of a lie we found out later. So, I rolled to my back and she told me to push when I felt that I needed to. I pushed nonstop holding my breath, over and over. Adam later said he thought I was going to pass out and he had no clue that I was able to do that. There is a picture of him crowning and another of his head out already only 30 seconds later. They made me stop pushing to suction him (he had meconium), and then I pushed once more and he was out! Only 1 minute of pushing and my little Kaden was born.
I reached out to grab him and the horrible Dr. whisked him to the NICU nurses. She didn't even hold him up for me to see. I let out a screech! This isn't how this is supposed to go this time. i'm supposed to have my baby. He is supposed to see his mommy first! Nicci asked if I wanted Adam to go to the baby or stay with me and I wanted him to be with Kaden. I was crying that I wanted my baby. Nicci asked why they couldn't do their tests on my chest. The Dr. then told her to shut up or she was going to kick her out. Nicci said she didn't understand why I couldnt see him. She goes; you have no idea how traumatic her first birth was with not holding her daughter right away. At this point the Dr. said, "nurse, get her out of here". I was begging no no no! The nurse just stepped back, like I'm not kicking her out and ignored the Dr. Thank goodness, I had my savior husband looking out for Kaden and myself! Adam ripped Kaden out of the NICU nurses arms and brought him over to me. They were all freaked out, like No one does this, lol! I finally got to see him! He was perfect in every way. They had him on oxygen on my chest and got him breathing and suctioned out really well. It's at this time that I figured out that the EVIL Dr. D. cut me a completely unneccessary episiotomy. I felt sooo violated. There was no informed consent. No REASON to even do it. The nurses and Nicci all talked about how I was crowning beautifully during that stage. My birth plan was very clear...but, was completely ignored. The Dr. never said a word to me the entire time she was in the room. She is the most awful woman I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. She was in and out and only left me with a ton of damage that was not even neccessary!!!
The delivery room cleared out faster than Nicci had ever seen in all of the births she attended. Everyone knew we didn't want their interventions so what was the use, right? The NICU nurse even just told our L&D nurse to watch his oxygen and if it dropped to call them as they weren't going to stay around to monitor him. A couple of hours later, the nursery nurse came down to weigh and measure him and wanted to give him his first bath. We declined and said that we wanted to do a bath together in the jacuzzi. She was flabbergasted and said, "We don't do that". I asked her why as I didn't see a reason why not. She left the room and came back saying, whatever. Then left again. She told the L&D nurse to take his temp after the bath as she wasn't going to bother coming back down. Our L&D nurse was AWESOME by the way. I absolutely loved her. We enjoyed our relaxing bath together in the jacuzzi and then headed to our recovery room.
13 hours after Kaden was born at 3:15 in the afternoon on Friday, we were discharged and headed home. The nurses and hospital staff were all confused with us leaving early and told us they didn't think we would be able to because the pedi wouldn't let us, but our pediatrician was awesome. I had talked with him a few weeks ago about wanting to go home right away and he agreed that it shouldn't be a problem.
Recovery from the unneccessary episiotomy was not fun at all. I have some emotional scars from how I was treated at the hospital. I should ave never been there. I had the instinct when we were driving there and when we were in the parking garage that I didn't want to be there. When the midwife came to our house we even discussed just staying home...why didn't I? Through all of this, I have found tremendous support in my doula Nicci. She is absolutely amazing and I know that I have found a true friend for life! Even though the hospital portion of my VBAC wasn't perfect or ideal, I still feel like I have conquered the world. It is truly the most amazing experience of my life. Even the long labor made me feel so empowered! I also have to thank my husband for his amazing support through the long labor and the hospital drama. Our training in the Bradley Method truly prepared us both for labor and delivery and how to manage our contractions and the pain.
Emma Gray 6.28.06
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