Writing Standards Portfolio

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This semester we learned many new things, some of which include: Learning how to support ideas with facts, and statistics, and how to support them using proper MLA format. [KC3 Essay/Roots and Recipes] Learning how to intertwine our voice into our writings, keeping them professional while creating a personal connection. [Roots & Recipes/Querencia] Learning how to use new vocabulary that effectively supports my ideas, and is pleasing to the reader. Learning how to have a structured five paragraph essay that is easy to follow, stays on topic, and does not skip allover the place. [Six Senses of Winter/Alternative Energy]

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Ideas

My writing is on topic and informative. The information is trongly supported by evidence.

KC3

In this essay, my thesis statement was "Thats why we need a solution such as the Straddling Bus". This thesis statement led into my supporting and doubtful feelings towards having the Straddling Bus. All of which were opinions, or facts backed up by statistics. "With 30% traffic reduction, taking 1,200 drivers off of the roads in one bus". Making my writing on topic and informative.

Roots and Recipes

I started this essay off by recalling a memory of having this dish. "That night, my whole family went to Tutus house for dinner"... From there, I went on to talk about my family history with this dish, supporting it with actual quotes from my grandmother. "Back then, we had to turn off all the lights at night. The only lights that were allowed were little blue lights on the cars". I then explained the recipe, and summed it all up.
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Orginization

My writing is easy to follow, and well structured.

The six senses of winter

I structured this essay as a timeline. I started it in the early morning, all the way until late into the day. The day started with: "Every morning the dew on every last grass spike or every last house window, stays a little longer". And the day ends with: "Then, finally, hearing the roosters crow late into the day, tricked by the cover of darkness".

The Search for Renewable Energy in Hawaii

This essay was based upon the normal five paragraph essay template. (Introduction, Body-1, Body-2, Body-3, Conclusion) In the introduction, I listed all of the problems. "By now you should know that pollution and high prices are huge side effects to todays energy manufacturing process". In the first body paragraph, I talked about places with sustainable energy, and also stated problems again. Then I listed all of the consequences to fossil fuels. After, I informed the reader on what was being done currently. Last, summed it up for my conclusion. "All in all, only time will tell whether or not Hawaii can reach its goals to produce 70% clean energy, and be a model for the rest of the U.S".
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Voice

My thought and feelings com out in my writing, and the reader feels a personal connection.

Querencia

In my Querencia essay, I began by complaining about work: "Work, work, and more work, each day at school were assigned more and more". By me complaining, I brought a personal problem that readers could relate to. Later on in the essay, I added in a taste of my personality by talking about my AXE body spray: "Before entering my room I could already smell a bit of AXE body spray".

Roots and Recipes

I added in my voice throuch my word choice. "That night, my whole family went to Tutus house for dinner". The word Tutu means grandmother in Hawaiian. I chose to use this word not only because that's what I really call her, but because it allows my writing to speak about my culture.
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Word Choice

My word choice is effectively backing up my ideas and is pleasing to the reader.

Querencia

In my Querencia essay, I used the word "cruz" to further bring out my voice. "By then, I just want to cruz in my room my querencia". Later, I used the word exhausting, because I feel that being exhausted is worse than being just tired. "It was the Norm, hi, how was your day?, Fine I exhaustedly replied".

The Six Senses of Winter

In this Six Senses essay, I needed to use very discriptive and visual words in order to get the readers attention, and go further to make the reader actually imagine it. "...Silvery dew...sweet aroma of freshly baked gingerbread cookies...cold snowy mountain of whiip cream"
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Six Senses of winter

Querencia

KC3

The search for renewable energy in Hawaii

Roots and Recipes

By now you already know that winters in Hawaii are unique. Unique, in the way that everyday life barely changes, but unique in the way that the feeling, the atmosphere changes. Every morning the dew on every last grass spike or every last house window, stays a little longer. The sight of the silvery dew showing later itself later and later in the day is a sign of winter. The way that the mid-day breeze is still gentle enough to bring a chill. Maybe even cold enough to slip under the large front door and bring tiny bumps to the skin. Or the smell of the Christmas tree in the living room and the sweet aroma of the freshly baked ginger bread cookies not even out of the pan. The rich taste of the blended chocolate mix with the warm milk, and the cold snowy mountain of whip cream. Then, finally, hearing the roosters crow late into the day, tricked by the cover of darkness. These may be clues to winter, but not the only ones. The last sense, what is it? Your emotionsThe magical feeling of having trouble free days, no school, no work, no worries. Just winter, the holidays, and my family.
That night, my whole family went to Tutus house for dinner. Everyone gathered at the table and eagerly waited for it. Tantalizing aromas, wide eyes, and hyper children; we all wanted some. Beep! Beep! Beep! That could only mean one thingthe Mozetti was ready.Ever since I can remember, I was brought up with Mozetti. This one of a kind dish was birthed in the early 1940s at the beginning of World War II by my great-aunt, and then was given to my great-grandmother. No one really knows what gave my great-aunt her inspiration, but now its a family tradition. While I was interviewing my Tutu (grandmother), she told me a lot about life back then. She said Back then, we had to turn off all the lights at night. The only lights that were allowed were little blue lights on the cars. Why I asked, Because! The Japanese bombers! They would fly so low, we could feel the vibrations from them! I read the ingredients: one package of chow fun noodles, a half pound of ground pork, one pound of ground beef, one can of tomato soup, one can of tomato sauce, one can of cream corn, and slices of American cheese. As I got more into detail on process I realized the hard work it required. You have to boil, drain, cook, mix, stir, and cook again?! I overwhelmingly asked. Yup, its easy she calmly replied. First she said, we need to boil the chow-fun noodles, then drain them. Next she explained to cook the ground pork until it was no longer pink, then to add in the ground beef and cook for 15 minutes. Then, we had to mix tomato sauce, tomato soup and cream corn in a bowl. This was the messiest step, and personally my favorite. After that, we drained the oil from the meats, and combined red slurry with the meats to make symphony of colors. We dropped the noodles in, layered it with a thick layer of cheese, and then baked it. This part was boring; we had to wait 30 minutes while the Mozetti got to relax in a 350 ° oven. When it came out, I nearly fell as an invisible wall of smell hit me. All the hard work paid off I thought to myself as the cheese poured down my throat. All of this hard work has allowed me to see how dedicated my grandmother is, and how fortunate we are to have a recipe that has been passed for four generations.
Work, work, and more work, each day at school were assigned more and more. These one-hour classes are filled with knowledgeable information that just latches itself to every last bit of me. By the time school is over, the last thing that I want to do is homework. By then, I just want to cruz in my room my querencia.The school bell rang and I rushed out of the welcoming door, and watched kids race home. The warm sunlight landed gently on my skin, while the cool breeze played with my hair. I quickly walked to the silver Honda pilot where my mom was waiting for me. It was the Norm, hi, how was your day?, Fine I exhaustedly replied. Today I cut it short and immediately got into the car so that we could begin our journey home.Before entering my room I could already smell a bit of AXE body spray. I opened the door and saw my things left exactly as I left them. My TV on the right, bed in the middle, and desk on the left. My Internet TV is white backed with a glowing Sony emblem on the front. This TV reminds me of the late nights viewing huge pictures on Facebook with my friends. A simple wooden frame with a khaki mattress atop lies in the center of my room. The useful couch/bed allows for much needed space adjustments in my, homey, cramped room. My small sepia brown desk cluttered with random items, the messiest but most memorable part of the room. This desk has everything from my black mid sized tower PC, to old essays about evaporation. It even has old project parts such a three-millimeter LEDs from my homemade flashlight. It houses my tools, blue piggy bank, and miscellaneous screws.The one place I can cruz my room my querencia.
The traffic congestion in Hawaii is getting worse each year. With an average commute time of 26.1 minutes per day (Average Commute Time Hawaii wolframalpha.com, WolframAlpha, n.d. web.), we are ranked 11th in the nation on longest commute time list. These problems are only going to get worse if we dont act now. Thats why we need a solution such as the Straddling Bus.The Straddling Bus is a cross between a train and a bus. It rides along tracks on the sides of the road, while being suspended over traffic. Due to its ability to arch over traffic, it is not affected by it. One problem that this creates though, is that it requires vehicles over 13 feet high to merge into the lanes that the Bus is not above. The Straddling Bus is able to hold a maximum of 1,200 passengers at once, taking a lot of drivers off of the roads. This gigantic bus might be good road wise, but scenery wise, it will take away from the natural beauty of this paradise. Causing Hawaii to seem more city like.Many other traffic solutions have been proposed, one of the main ones being the rail transit system. Unlike the 4.34 billion dollar cost of the transit system, the Straddling Bus only costs a mere 74.5 million for one unit and 25 miles of track. Beside the major cost difference, the Straddling Bus is able to travel on smaller roads unlike the transit that has to stay near main highway areas. Last, the transit can only drop off passengers at a limited amount of stations due to the high station costs. Whereas the Straddling Bus can to stop at its many stops, as a result of low bus stop costs. With todays shift to clean energy, the Straddling Bus is completely electric. Getting power either from solar panels, or overhead charging lines at bus stops. This zero emission alternative to gas guzzling vehicles will save approximately 860 tons of gas each year. With this gas, 2,620 less tons of carbon emissions are ending up in our atmosphere. Hopefully slowing global warming drastically. With 30% traffic reduction, taking 1,200 drivers off of the roads in one bus. Relatively cheap building prices, as compared to the 4 billion of the rail transit system. Last is its clean electric energy use that doesnt produce any toxic emissions. The Straddling Bus is the right choice to relieve traffic problems.
By now you should know that pollution and high prices are huge side effects to todays energy manufacturing process. With a growing demand for fossil fuels, it is unclear on how much longer we can live like this. But the way that we harvest our energy in the future is only limited by our ingenuity. Although fossil fuels are our main source of energy, todays technology has brought upon many different renewable sources just waiting to be harvested. As mention earlier, the problems with fossil fuels is its ability to pollute, and its rising costs. On pollution terms, when fossil fuels are burnt, they create a carbon gas. This gas, then rises all the way up to our atmosphere where it depletes the ozone layer, (our natural sun protection). The withering away of this layer causes global climate change. Along with pollution, fossil fuels also bring high prices. According to Sen. Daniel Inouye, [there is a] steady long term rise of oil prices. [Unlike the mainland] we have no fossil fuels so we have to manufacture our own energy, meaning a bigger dependence on imported oil.So far, we have very little wind, and solar farms in Hawaii, with only a 7% reliance on renewable energy as of 2007. The biggest though, is a 30% clean energy powered community on the big island, followed by a 17% clean energy powered community in Maui. On Molokai, 15% of clean energy, leaving Oahu with close to none. We might not have any energy farms on Oahu, the most developed island, but plans are being drawn. One of the biggest being a 400mw underwater cables connecting outer island farms to Oahu. This may be a good idea, but the lack of funding may hinder it. Besides building solutions, HECo. has promised not to build any new coal plants, and convert existing fossil fuel generators to biofuels using locally grown crops.These things are not far from now, and are very possible. The reliance on fossil fuels must be broken, and replaced with a cleaner solution. This change will not only be good for our wallets, but also the environment. A win, win situation. All in all, only time will tell whether or not Hawaii can reach its goals to produce 70% clean energy, and be a model for the rest of the U.S.
Conclusion

Conclusion

I am most proud of learning how to write a discriptive essay because on day, I would like to use this knowledge to write a descriptive poem. The major challenge for me this semester was writing the conclusion paragraph of my essays. But I dealt with it by picking only important facts to put in my conclusion. My goals for next semester is to get mostly A's in this class because I feel that I have been slacking off since last quarter. I find this goal to be reasonable because it only asks of me to concentrate and stay focused in school.

Parent Agenda

1. Explain what we will be doing.

2. Log on to www.wix.com/dkpale8/portfolio

2. Go through each category, and reading the essay's accordingly.

3. Ask questions.

Questions

1. Did you enjoy my portfolio? Suggestions?

2. What did you like about my presentation?

3. What could I have improved on to make my presentation better?

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