Napturally Beautiful
Last post I definitely reached a low point. Things are a little better but definitely lower than when I first started on this whole journey. What's new?I haven't gone running in a week or so. Running is just not my cup of tea. I feel self-conscious and I find it very boring. Instead I try to hop on the Wii Fit whenever I get a chance. Do a little cardio and strength training. I've MAYBE lost 2 lbs. Weight fluctuates so it's hard to say. I was trying to lose 7 but that's kind of failing. Maybe once I get back to school and I have a gym to go to I'll be more motivated.My hair journey? I'm hitting that bump in the road. The more my hair grows the more I hate the different textures. I'm really trying to hold out. I may end up cutting it before I go back to school though. Part of me feels SOOO ready. The other part? I'm afraid. Which in the end makes me think I am not ready to do it.I thought about entering a pageant but I thought let's get real. I do not have the guts to do that. Plus I do not have the time to dedicate to perfecting some sort of talent. Maybe if I was not trying to do it all on my own I'd have the guts to do it. Instead I'm thinking of modeling. Which is kind of backwards, I know. When you model you are scrutinized to a T. But I'm bored with my life and want something fun. I've taken a few photos and sent them off to some agencies. Will it lead anywhere? I HIGHLY doubt it but it's a fun thought. I even put up some photos on this one website. Check it out:http://www.onemodelplace.com/member.cfm?ID=415309Being at home is starting to get to me. I'm running out of things to do. I'm running out of money. I've trying to to find things to fill up my time. My new hobbies?kgbHeard of it? It's a sort of text knowledge service. You can text 542542 and ask them anything you want. Agents, like myself, answer questions. It does not make much but it's better than nothing right? You should check it out if you are sitting at home.MusicI finally caved and bought a new adapter for my keyboard. Trying to start playing again. It always made me feel content. The great thing is it's like riding a bike. You may get rusty but you never forget.That's all for now. Keep a look out for updates.
I'm screaming for something new to happen. I've failed lately at exercising. Don't know why. Well I do now why. I lose motivation with everything I do. Good thing is that I still am trasitioning. That will not change. I'm just looking for my next thing....
I manage to make my lazy butt get out of bed and go running. 1.5 miles. Not bad. I actually felt stronger as I ran. I had to take a few breaks, to be honest though. But I do not worry too much about taking breaks as long as in the end I run a good distance. My eyes were bloodshot from the heat and sweat running into my eyes which only added to my feeling like I accomplished something today. Than why am I feel so depressed now?...I do not know how my sister does it but every time I am home alone all day I go nuts. Maybe it's coming back from the Gambia where I spent every minute with someone. Maybe I'm just being weird. Maybe it's cause I do not have a job this summer. Whatever the reason I wish it would stop. These last days I have felt so good about myself. In in just a few hours I'm back t how I felt a few weeks ago. I don't get it...Outside of this depressing evening I've been doing some research on modeling. Yes, modeling. Depsite today, I've been feeling more confident and felt that I needed a new hobby to try out. I emailed a lady about local pagents and I've been joining some groups about modeling. I need someone to take some headshots and full length photos of me and than go from there. Who knows...maybe something will pan out from it. I think I'm just in need of a new adventure.
It's been awhile so I figured it was time to update.Just got from a couple days visiting friends at school. It was amazing. Enjoyed every second of it. One of my friends just got back from studying from Australian so it was the first time all my close friends from school have been together in 6 months. In some ways nothing has changed and I find that extremely comforting.One of the most interesting things about this weekend is the battle I had with my hair. I go to school right by the water so it's almost impossible to resist the temptation to totally submerge yourself in St. Mary's River. The aftermath? My Dominican Blowout went totally out the window. My hair reverted back to it's bushy self before I could blink an eye. My solution. Bobby pins and a green flower my best friend bought from me. The outcome? Perfection. It actually came out looking good and everyone else thought it looked good to. I explain to my friends the whole "going natural" process and they were actually excited about it haha.It's nice to know that my friends (and even my boyfriend) support me on his hair journey. The best part is that these last couple days I have really seen a change within myself. Even with my hair going nuts I have felt more confident these last few days than I have in awhile. I manage to work out while at school and I even worked out today. I'm taking advantage of all the things I have. I'm using the Body by Glamour website. I using our Wii Fit to just do something fun (plus it weighs you). I have to admit though that I was disappointed that according to the Wii Fit I have gained .04 lbs but I'm not letting that slow me down. I just have to work harder. Running tomorrow here I come!
So here is a new blog. Why did I start this blog you may ask? For the website I am working on called Napturally Beautiful. Will anyone care enough about my website? Who knows. I just wanted to keep some type of documentation for this transformation I'm trying to put myself through.I do not have a job for the last month of summer and need something to occupy my time. I thought what better time to improve myself than the present right? So here it is. The start of a new outlook on my life. I'm trying to transform myself both inside and out. How will I do this? Well these are my goals...1) Lose 7 pounds...yes, 7.2) Tone up...I do not need a 6-pack but a tight stomach will do3) Increase my self-confidence...I should find myself beautiful both inside and outside4) Develop better relationships with my friends5) Develop a better relationship with my family6) Eat healthier7) Stop buying into mainstreams definition of beauty and grow out my relaxed hair and be all natural!Let the games begin...
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